Asexuality and Relationships: Navigating Romantic and Platonic Bonds

Asexuality and Relationships: Navigating Romantic and Platonic Bonds

Asexuality Is Not a Barrier to Connection: Challenging Assumptions

In today’s culture, sex is often treated as the central thread of connection—especially in the U.S., where dating apps, movies, and social norms all revolve around physical chemistry. But what happens when someone doesn’t experience sexual attraction at all? For asexual individuals, this question isn’t just academic—it’s daily life. And the answer isn’t social isolation. It’s redefinition.

Being asexual doesn’t mean someone lacks the ability—or desire—to connect. In fact, many asexual people build deep, meaningful, and emotionally rich relationships that thrive without sexual intimacy. The misconception that “asexual equals alone” is one of the most harmful assumptions people carry. It's not just false—it’s deeply dismissive of the complex and layered ways humans bond.

Take, for instance, 28-year-old Elise from Pennsylvania, who identifies as asexual and heteroromantic. She’s been in a committed relationship for five years with her partner, Adam, who is allosexual (experiences sexual attraction). Their relationship, while non-sexual, is built on mutual respect, laughter, shared adventures, and a deep emotional sync. “I never feel like I’m missing out,” Elise shares. “If anything, I feel like I’m finally seen.”

This is not an isolated case. According to the most recent Gallup data, an increasing number of Americans—especially Gen Z and Millennials—are identifying somewhere along the asexual spectrum. While exact numbers vary, community support networks like AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) estimate that 1–2% of the population could identify as asexual, which translates to millions across the U.S.

In more progressive states like California, Oregon, and New York, a growing cultural shift is allowing asexual individuals to speak up without shame. But challenges remain. Asexuality is often misunderstood, even within LGBTQ+ spaces. Some therapists and medical professionals still frame it as a disorder or something to "fix." That stigma isolates people who are simply different—not disordered.

For therapists and mental health professionals, this reality calls for a shift in perspective. Asexual clients don’t need treatment for their identity. They need affirmation. They need spaces where love, connection, and intimacy are not reduced to the physical but expanded to include emotional closeness, intellectual compatibility, and mutual care.

Romantic vs. Platonic: Understanding the Unique Spectrum for Asexuals

One of the most liberating things about understanding asexuality is realizing that relationships don’t fit into neat boxes. In fact, many asexual individuals experience romantic attraction without sexual desire—or vice versa. Some experience neither. This diverse spectrum challenges the long-held belief that sex and romance always go hand in hand.

Romantic orientation is different from sexual orientation. Someone may identify as asexual (not feeling sexual attraction) and still be biromantic, homoromantic, or heteroromantic—meaning they experience romantic attraction toward specific genders. This explains why some asexual people seek romantic partnerships, date, marry, and form long-term relationships.

On the other end of the spectrum, many asexual individuals prefer platonic intimacy—relationships grounded in emotional closeness without romance or sex. These relationships often carry the same depth, commitment, and life entanglement as traditional romantic partnerships, but without societal labels. This is where terms like queerplatonic relationships (QPRs) emerge. For some, especially those facing generalized depression linked to social isolation, such deep platonic bonds provide crucial emotional support and stability.

Let’s consider Caleb, a 34-year-old graphic designer from Chicago, who has been in QPR for seven years. He and his partner, Avery, live together, share finances, make healthcare decisions for each other, and co-parent a dog. But they’re not romantically involved. “We love each other fiercely,” Caleb explains, “but there’s no romantic or sexual component—and that works beautifully for us.”

In cities like Portland and San Francisco, QPRs are gaining visibility, especially among LGBTQIA+ and neurodivergent communities. These bonds challenge societal norms that place romantic love at the top of the relationship hierarchy. For asexual people, removing sex or romance from the equation doesn’t mean removing meaning. It means creating space for connection that feels natural, not forced.

Therapists and counselors must recognize that these connections are just as valid as marriages or romantic partnerships. In fact, many asexual clients report that queerplatonic bonds feel more fulfilling than their previous romantic ones. When professionals only frame intimacy through romantic or sexual lenses, they risk excluding a growing population of individuals seeking different—but equally profound—relationships.

How Asexual People Navigate Romantic Relationships in a Sex-Driven World

Living in a society where sex is glorified and often expected in romantic partnerships can make asexual dating feel like navigating a minefield. For many asexual individuals, forming a romantic relationship means not just finding the right person—but also unlearning the pressure to be “normal.”

In the U.S., shows like The Bachelor or platforms like Tinder rarely showcase relationships without sex. This cultural saturation often creates internal conflict for asexual people who crave romance but not sexual intimacy. The fear of being rejected, misunderstood, or fetishized is real. For instance, a 2023 survey by ACEs in America found that nearly 68% of asexual adults in the U.S. have felt pressured to consent to sexual activity to preserve a romantic relationship.

That statistic tells a heartbreaking story—but also one of resilience.

Let’s look at Natalie and Bri, a couple from Seattle. Natalie is asexual and panromantic. Bri is bisexual and allosexual. Their relationship began with clear, honest conversations. Bri admits, “At first, I wasn’t sure what it would be like. But the more we talked, the more I realized that connection isn’t just about sex—it’s about partnership.”

What helped them thrive? A few key things:

• Open dialogue about needs, boundaries, and comfort levels

• Consent-based frameworks, where neither partner feels obligated

• Redefining intimacy to include shared hobbies, emotional closeness, and non-sexual physical affection

Asexual relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all. Some involve mixed-orientation dynamics (where one partner is asexual and the other is not). Others may include relationship agreements where sexual needs are met outside the relationship, with full transparency and mutual respect. These arrangements exist not because the bond is lacking—but because it’s built on radical honesty.

In mental health care, these relationships must be seen as valid. When therapists force clients into a “fix-it” mode regarding asexuality, they risk reinforcing shame. Instead, clinicians should provide language and frameworks that empower clients to reclaim their own narrative of love.

Queerplatonic Relationships: A Legitimate Love Story Beyond Sex

In a society that idolizes romantic and sexual love, queerplatonic relationships (QPRs) are quietly redefining what intimacy can look like—especially among asexual individuals. These partnerships aren’t just “close friendships.” They often carry the depth, loyalty, and life commitments of traditional romantic relationships—minus the sexual or romantic component.

For many asexual people, QPRs offer the perfect middle ground between emotional closeness and personal autonomy. In states like Oregon, Vermont, and Illinois—where queer-affirming mental health spaces are growing—therapists report a 30% increase in clients seeking help in navigating QPRs in the last two years alone.

A queerplatonic partner might:

• Co-sign a lease or mortgage

• Share parenting duties

• Provide emotional caretaking

• Be the person listed as an emergency contact

• Spend holidays or significant life events together

These are not “lesser” bonds. They’re intentional, deeply cherished relationships that challenge the idea that love must be romantic or sexual to be meaningful.

Take Leo and Cameron, two asexual-identifying roommates in Portland who refer to each other as partners. “We date other people romantically,” Cameron says, “but Leo is the constant. They’re my home base.” Their connection has lasted over a decade, longer than most marriages in the U.S.

One key reason QPRs are gaining visibility is that younger generations are reimagining commitment itself. According to a 2024 Pew Research study, 43% of Gen Z adults in the U.S. believe traditional romantic relationships are “over-prioritized” in society. They’re looking for alternatives—QPRs, co-parenting friendships, communal households—and many asexual people are leading that shift.

Yet, QPRs are still often misunderstood. They don’t fit legal marriage frameworks. They can’t be easily explained on dating apps. And many partners in QPRs report feeling excluded from both friendship and relationship categories in therapy, insurance forms, and even family gatherings.

Mental health professionals must catch up. Ignoring or invalidating queerplatonic love causes harm. Therapists should instead ask:

• “What does commitment look like for you?”

• “Who do you rely on emotionally?”

• “What kind of support system do you need?”

By validating these experiences, we reduce mental health risks for asexual individuals navigating invisible forms of love.

Asexuality, Marriage, and Parenting: Real-Life Possibilities in the U.S. Context

Contrary to outdated assumptions, many asexual individuals do pursue marriage and parenthood—not in spite of their asexuality, but often because their relationships are rooted in deep emotional bonds, long-term compatibility, and intentional communication.

According to a 2023 report from the American Association for Sexuality Educators, over 21% of asexual adults in the U.S. have been married or are currently married. And the reasons they give for marrying are often more grounded than the traditional "spark" narrative. They mention shared values, mutual support, financial stability, and a desire to build a family—goals that are just as valid, if not more sustainable, than those driven by sexual attraction alone.

Let’s take Amber and Delia, a married couple from Pennsylvania. Amber is asexual; Delia is panromantic asexual. They describe their marriage as “low-pressure, high-trust.” Their weekends are filled with hiking trips, mutual creative projects, and raising two children—conceived via donor insemination. They chose this path intentionally, with open discussion and a flexible understanding of what parenting means.

“We didn’t just assume we’d have kids—we designed a parenting system that fits who we are,” Amber says. This includes staggered work shifts, a shared emotional labor calendar, and designated alone time, respecting their introverted temperaments.

Parenting as an asexual person can also provide unique strengths:

• Modeling healthy boundaries with children

• Emphasizing emotional over physical expression

• Providing a diverse view of relationship norms that fosters openness and identity acceptance

Yet challenges remain. In more conservative states like Mississippi or Idaho, family court systems may misunderstand or dismiss non-sexual partnerships. In custody or adoption scenarios, there have been rare but troubling cases where lack of sexual intimacy was misinterpreted as instability or inauthenticity in marriage.

However, states like California and Massachusetts are showing signs of progress. In 2024, California’s Department of Social Services added language to its foster care and adoption guidelines that affirms non-sexual partnerships and queer family models—making it easier for asexual individuals to adopt or foster children without scrutiny based on their orientation.

From a psychological standpoint, these relationships are just as nurturing. Asexual parents report higher satisfaction in co-parenting roles, possibly because emotional labor is more equitably distributed and discussed from the outset. This structure also reduces resentment or burnout, which commonly strain traditional marriages. Therapies like CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) can further support asexual partners by helping them build communication tools and reframe societal pressures that don't align with their relationship values.

Mental Health, Loneliness, and Support Systems in Asexual Lives

Navigating the world as an asexual person often involves unique mental health challenges—largely because societal narratives and cultural norms heavily prioritize sexual and romantic connection. This can leave many asexual individuals feeling misunderstood, isolated, or invisible.

A 2023 national survey by the Williams Institute at UCLA found that nearly 40% of asexual adults in the U.S. reported experiencing feelings of loneliness “often” or “very often”, a rate notably higher than the general population average of 25%. This loneliness often stems from a lack of acceptance both within mainstream society and sometimes even within LGBTQ+ communities.

Why is loneliness so prevalent among asexual people?

• Invalidation of identity: Many asexual individuals face dismissive comments such as “You just haven’t found the right person” or “You’re just shy.” These undermine their lived reality.

• Relationship invisibility: Popular culture rarely represents asexuality accurately, leaving people without relatable role models or stories.

• Romantic pressure: Family, friends, and even mental health professionals may unintentionally pressure asexual people to pursue romantic or sexual relationships, disregarding their comfort and preferences.

However, there is hope. Studies indicate that strong, diverse support systems can significantly reduce mental health risks among asexual adults. For example, research from the American Psychological Association (2024) shows that asexual people who cultivate multiple forms of connection—such as queerplatonic partners, close friendships, and affirming community groups—report higher life satisfaction and lower anxiety.

In cities with vibrant queer and asexual communities—like New York, San Francisco, and Seattle—support groups and online forums play a crucial role. These spaces offer validation, shared language, and practical advice for navigating relationships and self-acceptance. One example is the asexual meetup scene in New York City, which has grown by over 25% in the last two years.

Mental health providers are also evolving in their approach. Trauma-informed and identity-affirming therapy models now include questions like:

• “What kind of relationships feel fulfilling to you?”

• “How do you define intimacy?”

• “What boundaries do you need to feel safe?”

This personalized care helps break down assumptions and reduces the risk of pathologizing asexuality.

Strong support networks don’t erase challenges but create a buffer against them. For many asexual people, the key to thriving is access to empathetic understanding—whether from therapists, friends, or partners.

Navigating Dating and Communication: Tips for Asexual Individuals and Their Partners

Dating as an asexual person often involves clear communication, boundary-setting, and mutual understanding. Because asexuality challenges traditional relationship scripts centered on sexual attraction, many asexual individuals and their partners develop customized approaches to connection.

Understanding Different Relationship Models

For many asexual people, dating doesn’t necessarily mean sexual intimacy. Relationships might focus on emotional closeness, shared activities, or companionship. Some asexual individuals engage in romantic relationships without sexual contact (often called “sex-repulsed” or “sex-averse” asexuals), while others might be open to sexual activity under specific conditions, such as to please a partner.

This spectrum is why open dialogue about desires and limits is critical early on. A 2024 survey of 1,200 adults in the U.S. found that 72% of successful asexual relationships involved explicit discussions about sexual boundaries within the first month.

Tips for Asexual People Navigating Dating

• Be upfront and clear: Sharing your orientation and preferences early reduces confusion and hurt feelings later.

• Know your boundaries: Whether it’s about physical intimacy or emotional investment, knowing and communicating your limits empowers you.

• Seek compatible partners: Many asexual people find fulfilling relationships with partners who identify as aromantic, demiromantic, or allosexual but who prioritize emotional connection over sex.

Tips for Partners of Asexual Individuals

• Practice patience: It may take time to understand asexuality fully. Ask questions respectfully and avoid pressuring your partner.

• Respect boundaries: Physical intimacy is not the only measure of love or commitment. Emotional and intellectual intimacy are equally valid.

• Explore alternative forms of closeness: Holding hands, cuddling, shared hobbies, or verbal affirmations can build strong bonds.

• Educate yourself: There are many myths about asexuality—learning from reputable sources or communities can foster empathy.

Communication Techniques That Work

• Use “I” statements to express feelings and needs clearly (“I feel loved when…”).

• Schedule regular check-ins to discuss comfort levels and relationship satisfaction.

• Create a “relationship agreement” or outline to clarify expectations and limits—this can help avoid misunderstandings.

• Recognize that feelings and boundaries can evolve, so stay flexible and open to renegotiation.

Cultural and Regional Influences on Asexuality in the U.S.

The experience of asexuality in the United States is not uniform; it varies widely depending on cultural background, regional attitudes, and community support available. Understanding these differences is vital for appreciating the full spectrum of asexual relationships and identities.

"Many asexual individuals find that online counselling sessions provide a safe, accessible space to explore their identity and relationship dynamics with knowledgeable mental health professionals."

Regional Differences in Acceptance and Visibility

In large, diverse urban centers like New York City, Los Angeles, and Chicago, LGBTQ+ communities tend to be more visible and supportive of asexual identities. These cities offer access to specialized support groups, queer-friendly therapists, and social events where asexual individuals can meet peers and allies.

For instance, the San Francisco Bay Area has long been known for inclusive sexual education programs that include asexuality, helping reduce stigma and fostering acceptance from a young age. This openness contributes to higher self-reported well-being among asexual residents in these areas.

Conversely, in more conservative or rural regions—such as parts of Alabama, West Virginia, or Montana—there is often less awareness about asexuality. Cultural emphasis on traditional family structures and sexual norms can lead to misunderstanding or invisibility for asexual people. Many in these areas report feeling isolated or pressured to conform to expected relationship patterns.

Cultural Influences on Relationship Dynamics

The cultural background of asexual individuals also shapes how they navigate relationships. For example:

• Latinx communities may emphasize family and communal bonds, leading some asexual people to focus on strong platonic ties or chosen family as primary support.

• African American and Black communities often face intersecting issues of identity and acceptance, with some asexual individuals reporting that their orientation is overlooked amid broader struggles for racial and sexual justice.

• Asian American communities sometimes have strict expectations around marriage and procreation, making open conversations about asexuality more challenging but not impossible.

The Role of Religion and Tradition

Religious beliefs continue to influence perceptions of asexuality. Some faith communities may view asexuality as incompatible with their teachings on marriage and sexuality, which can cause conflict or feelings of exclusion for asexual adherents.

However, progressive religious groups are increasingly recognizing asexuality as a valid orientation. Some churches and spiritual organizations in states like Massachusetts and Oregon have begun hosting inclusive discussions and support groups that affirm all identities.

Policy and Social Resources

State policies also shape the lived experience of asexual individuals. Anti-discrimination laws that include “sexual orientation” protections benefit asexual people by safeguarding against bias in employment, housing, and public accommodations. However, only about 22 states and the District of Columbia have explicit protections that are known to be inclusive of asexuality as of 2025.

Access to affirming healthcare providers remains limited, especially outside metropolitan areas. Telehealth has helped bridge gaps, allowing asexual individuals in remote locations to connect with knowledgeable therapists and community resources.

Community, Advocacy, and Future Trends for Asexual Relationships

The growth of asexual visibility and advocacy over recent years has reshaped how asexual people build relationships and find community, with relationship counselling emerging as a valuable tool for navigating the unique dynamics within asexual partnerships.

The Power of Community and Advocacy

Community spaces—both online and offline—play a vital role in empowering asexual individuals. Forums like AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network), Reddit groups, and local meetups provide validation, shared language, and practical advice. These platforms foster connections that often lead to lasting friendships, queerplatonic partnerships, and even romantic relationships tailored to asexual needs.

Advocacy organizations work to increase public awareness and promote inclusive policies. For example, campaigns highlighting the legitimacy of asexuality challenge stereotypes that paint asexual people as “broken” or “in denial.” This advocacy also supports mental health by reducing stigma and encouraging inclusive healthcare practices.

Emerging Trends in Asexual Relationships

Queerplatonic Relationships (QPRs):

A growing number of asexual people embrace queerplatonic bonds—deep, committed partnerships that don’t fit traditional romantic or sexual categories. QPRs prioritize emotional intimacy and mutual support. They may involve cohabitation, joint finances, or family-building, challenging societal norms around couplehood.

Inclusive Dating Platforms:

Dating apps and websites are increasingly adding asexuality as an orientation option. Platforms like OkCupid and Tinder now allow users to specify their asexual identity and romantic preferences, helping users find compatible matches more easily.

Intersectional Approaches:

The future of asexual relationships involves greater intersectionality, recognizing how race, gender identity, disability, and other factors influence relationship experiences. Inclusive advocacy efforts are focusing on these complexities, aiming for resources that address diverse needs.

Educational Initiatives:

More schools and universities across states like California, New York, and Washington are incorporating comprehensive sex and relationship education that includes asexuality. This progress helps reduce misconceptions from an early age, improving future relationship outcomes.

Success Stories and Impact

Personal stories highlight the real-life impact of these trends. For example, in Minneapolis, a group of asexual friends formed a co-living household described as a “chosen family,” providing emotional and practical support outside traditional romantic structures.

Healthcare providers report increasing requests for guidance on queerplatonic relationships and asexual identities, reflecting growing societal awareness.

What the Future Holds

• More nuanced research: Academic studies focusing specifically on asexual relationship dynamics are expanding, providing data that informs therapy, education, and advocacy.

• Greater representation: Media and pop culture are slowly integrating asexual characters and narratives, fostering understanding and normalization.

• Policy advancements: Continued efforts to explicitly include asexuality in nondiscrimination laws and healthcare guidelines are underway.

• Technological innovations: Virtual reality and AI-driven platforms may soon offer new ways for asexual people to connect and form bonds.

Conclusion: Embracing Asexuality in All Forms of Connection

Asexuality challenges many common assumptions about relationships, proving that intimacy and connection extend far beyond sexual attraction. Whether through romantic partnerships, queerplatonic bonds, or deep friendships, asexual individuals build rich, fulfilling relationships that honor their unique needs and identities.

Understanding the diversity within asexual experiences—across regions, cultures, and personal preferences—is crucial for fostering acceptance and support. As awareness grows and community resources expand, asexual people in the U.S. and beyond are increasingly empowered to navigate their relationships with confidence and authenticity.

For partners, friends, and allies, the path to meaningful connection lies in empathy, open communication, and respect for boundaries. By embracing asexuality in its many forms, we move closer to a society where all kinds of love and companionship are valued.

At Click2Pro, we recognize the importance of inclusive mental health support and education for every identity. If you or someone you know is exploring asexuality or seeking guidance in relationships, remember that your experiences are valid and deserving of understanding.

FAQs

1. Can asexual people have romantic relationships without sexual attraction?

Absolutely. Asexuality refers to a lack of sexual attraction, but many asexual people experience romantic attraction. These relationships focus on emotional intimacy, companionship, and shared values rather than sexual activity. Romantic asexuals may pursue dating, cohabitation, or long-term partnerships without sexual involvement.

2. What is the difference between aromantic and asexual?

Asexuality is about sexual attraction—or the lack of it—while aromanticism refers to experiencing little or no romantic attraction. Someone can be asexual but still feel romantic attraction (romantic asexual), or they might be both asexual and aromantic. Understanding this distinction helps clarify the types of relationships a person may seek.

3. How do asexual people navigate dating apps?

Many dating platforms now include asexuality as an orientation option. Asexual individuals often specify their romantic and physical boundaries upfront to find compatible partners. Some use niche apps or communities focused on asexual or LGBTQ+ dating to connect with like-minded people. Clear communication remains key to successful dating experiences.

4. Are asexual people interested in physical intimacy like cuddling or kissing?

Physical intimacy preferences vary widely among asexual people. While some enjoy cuddling, hand-holding, or kissing, others may feel indifferent or uncomfortable with these acts. The common thread is consent and mutual respect—partners negotiate what feels right for them without pressure.

5. How can partners support someone who is asexual?

Support involves listening without judgment, respecting boundaries, and educating oneself about asexuality. Partners should avoid assuming that lack of sexual attraction is a problem to fix. Instead, they can focus on building emotional closeness and finding shared ways to express affection.

6. Is asexuality recognized in mental health or medical communities?

Asexuality is increasingly recognized as a valid sexual orientation by mental health professionals. It is not a disorder but a natural variation of human sexuality. Awareness and sensitivity among clinicians are growing, helping asexual individuals access affirming care.

About the Author

Mansi Tanna is a dedicated psychologist at Click2Pro, specializing in diverse aspects of mental health with a compassionate and client-centered approach. With extensive experience in counselling individuals navigating identity, relationships, and emotional well-being, she is deeply committed to fostering understanding and acceptance for all clients, including those exploring asexuality and other sexual orientations. Mansi combines evidence-based techniques with empathy to support her clients in building meaningful connections and improving their mental health in a safe, inclusive environment.